Sunday 17 August 2014

#fightforlifeandlive

I can't think of much to say that hasn't been said tbh.

Depression is a hideous, horrendous illness. It's there and it lurks and it waits for that one brief moment when you let your guard down and it pounces. It can take over, seep into everything you do, everything you see, everything you do. Nothing is good and nothing will ever be good again. And that's how it should be. You don't deserve good. You're horrible and worthless and fail at everything. You should be scribbled out, crumpled up and thrown away.

And it goes on and on. Stupid, pointless, hateful noise. None of it's true.... But you don't know that. And it hurts.

And it's always there.

So many people experience it. And so many people hide it. With laughs and smiles and jokes and a casual 'I'm fine'.

Anyone who thinks that Robin Williams was selfish or cowardly or weak......I can't even think of an end to that sentence. I wouldn't even wish for you to experience it so you understood, I genuinely wouldn't wish it on anyone. So I guess I just hope that one day you can stop being so narrow minded and judgemental and start to understand what some people go through each and every day.

And none of that is what I meant to say at all. But nvm. Here are some nails. The base is Barry m key line with dotted flowers in rimmel Mary Mary quite contrary and Barry m spring green. Then I used a fan brush to cover for nails with Essie licorice. I wanted a cheerful base with the black representing both the cloud of depression which colours everything and the constant urge to blot yourself out, remove yourself. I left the ring finger clear because there's always hope. Or something. X

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