I'm still around, I'm still reading blogs and following folk. I'm just not here. I'm struggling to allow myself to talk. And I need to change that. Things crash fast in my brain and I need to slam on the breaks before things totally disintegrate.....mixing metaphors. I need to find some energy. And I need to find a part of my brain that cares about myself and thinks I deserve positive things. Basically I need to not be ill. Cos I'm not meant to be that (this?) person anymore.
How quickly things can flip from one side of the line to the other.
Oh so much melodramatic, self-pitying bullshit. I bore myself. And I hate myself. And this needs to stop. Now.
I can write a proper coherent post about this sometime. But not now. Now I'm just writing. And trying to prove that's ok. That I'm allowed to speak. I'll come back tomorrow maybe. When it's not so late and I'm making more sense. X
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