Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Lucky 13 lacquer butterfly project

So I posted a link to this a while ago... and today my bottle arrived in the post. I'm a little in love.. With the polish and with everything it stands for...and maybe a little in love with jess who is a sweetheart lol. I've included a pic of the packaging, compete with pumpkin tape cos I thought it was adorable (little things and little minds hey? Haha). Notice the addition of a glass file also...serendipitous as I lent mine to mum and she's grown a little attached lol.

Oh what can I say? It's purple and it's supporting sh awareness what more do you need really? I'll even forgive it for being a jelly :p... tbh I would love this polish even if it was ugly and hideous to apply. Fortunately it is neither of those things. The purple, miraculously, is a shade I don't actually own...I guess you'd call it grape maybe? Though slightly more muted. Shop that's a win for a start. Then you have holo butterflies... and plenty of them! I think I ended up with at least one on each nail with no fishing whatsoever and they're a nice size so they sit on the nail well. Finally the icing on the cake is a rainbow of glitter in allsorts of colours and sizes... such fun! And so cheerful and vibrant and optimistic which I think is lovely in the context of polishes meaning.
Sadly my swatch is a little scruffy as I was in a hurry but yes meaningful AND beautiful, win :).

As for self harm... it's been a part of my life for a very long time. I think I was 12 when I did it for the first time, in nearly 25 now. I stopped for around 18 months at the start of college and man I wish I'd never started again. Then again govern the same circumstances again id probably do the same... Unfortunately it served a purpose. Still does I guess but I'm trying hard to learn ways to live without it. Atm I'm up to about 6 weeks free... and that's more than I've managed in years tbh so that's good. Of all the 'issues' I think sh is the one I've experienced most stigma over. Whether through fear or ignorance or just plain disgust. It makes people uneasy. And it confuses people I think unless you've been there it's very hard to understand why you'd actually wilfully hurt yourself... The human brain is programmed for self preservation and the avoidance of harm afterall. I've been told it's just a bad habit and I need more willpower. That it's a waste of resources. That I use it to manipulate people. It's ridiculous crazy silly selfish unfair unnatural disgusting. You get the picture. But then there are the people who get it... Or if they don't get it are willing to listen and try to get it. And they make up for it :). At the end of the day my self harm isn't about anyone else it's between me and the noise in my head. Unfortunately I don't live in a vacuum (I don't think it's possible to love in a vacuum lol) and other people get dragged along for the ride and often get hurt along the way. I feel bad for that I really do but it's not deliberate and it's certainly not personal. Still in trying to change so maybe one day none of that will be an issue :-). X