Thursday, 19 September 2013

Drugged up

I started some new pills this week, which got me thinking about psych medications in general. I figured I'd post some of the rights that meandered through my brain, since it's a subject that often divides opinion strongly and is littered with misconceptions.

I feel kinda weird writing this tbh...I don't exactly have a good track record when it comes to meds. I've refused them and abused them, pretended is was taking them when I wasn't, come off them randomly, hoarded them, overdosed on them. Yea. None of that shit is clever.
I just hated the pills so much. And the hatred was largely fear. I was scared of the side effects (most anti depressants I've taken have sent my anxiety levels through the roof) and scared of yet another thing not working. But mostly I was scared they would work. I was scared of being well cos I didn't think I deserved it, I didn't think it was 'right'.I was scared of who I would be of I was well, scared I would be out of control and unstoppable.
The mind plays tricks on you.
Nowadays I'm pretty much just willing to do as I'm told, I'm tired. Of self destruction and self sabotage and self pity. If there's the tiniest chance something might work im taking it.
And there's more than a tiny chance meds will work. There IS scientific evidence for that.... even if it is rather complicated and conflicted (and nobody can decide why they work Haha). Meds aren't the be all and end all, and they're not for everybody but I wouldn't just dismiss them out of hand.
Let's consider a few of the objections shall we:
Antidepressants are over prescribed
Yes quite possibly true. In a system that's short on time, money and expertise pill pushing is quicker and cheaper and easier. BUT that doesn't mean they don't have their place. Antibiotics have a history of being over used but you still wouldn't refuse them if you had raging pneumonia would you? Everything has its place. The suggested first line of treatment for mild depression is exercise and online cbt. Once you step into moderate and severe depression where your day to day functioning is required THEN meds are recommended. Often in conjunction with talking therapies. The theory is that without the boost from medications the symptoms of the illness make it very hard to engage with and benefit from therapy.
They have side effects
This is true. You read the patient information leaflet and you'd expect to be more I'll after taking the piss than you were before! And yes all these have been experienced by people.... But not all at once. Everyone reacts differently and the side effect profile is usually a collation of the findings of several studies listing all the things that happened more with the active drug than with a placebo. You might feel nauseous you might get headaches. But then you might get side effects from any drug. I'm looking at possible side effects for ibuprofen (pretty innocuous right?) The list includes nausea and vomiting, abdo pain, headaches, dizziness, fluid retention eight up to broncospasm, stomach ulcers, blood in vomit or stools and increased risk of heart attack and stroke. But we don't think twice about taking them, they're available over the counter.
I don't want to become dependent on tablets
Most psych meds aren't addictive... In that they don't cause the same chemical changes in the brain as psychical addictions. I can testify that coming off them at random can be pretty unpleasant in some cases... But then you shouldn't come off meds like that anyway.
The pills are just a TOOL to help you when you are unwell. It's not about depending on them it's about using all the help you can possibly get to get well yourself.
I don't need or deserve pills I should be able to do it myself
This is a depressed (or manic or anxious or whatever your diagnosis of choice is) mind speaking. Of course you deserve medical help, it's a basic human right. And as for doing it yourself you may as well stand looking up at the top shelf going 'but I SHOULD be able to reach it' whilst there's a ladder right next to you. Similar to the above. Use the tools that are being offered to you.

There are more in sure but im aware this is getting very long so I'll just leave you with some nails. Today is an Essie purple I forget the name of with a color club silver that I never knew the name of. I'm good at this right? Lol. I've been wanting to do silver and purple for a couple of days now and finally found I design I liked on a blog but I've promptly forgotten which and my phones history is not helping so sorry! If you know do please share! Lol. X